Some people are incapable of emitting warmth. Icy doesn’t begin to describe their persona and the aura around them. They smile with their lips but not with their eyes. They are not worth your thoughts. Don’t kill yourself trying to get them to understand you and don’t ever let them get to you.
People with a complex, an inferior one, who hide in their shells, have very few friends and “fewer” social skills will many times be envious of you if you’re vocal, have good social skills and light up any room you walk into. Such people would not hesitate to kill your spark, turn off your lights, pour water on your fire and cover the smoke with a blanket. Don’t let them. They are envious kill-joys who wish they had your spunk.
There are those whose loyalty will never be to you. Who will always support the other side. Accept that.
There are caucuses that will never accept you. There are gatherings you just cannot fit into because you are different. Misery seeks company and miserable people feed off each others energy. Stay away from them. You speak a different language.
Then there are those who see your flaws and love you regardless, remembering that they have flaws themselves. These are the ones who correct you with love, rejoice with you, mourn with you and wish you well from the bottom of their heart. Appreciate those ones. There a just a few of them (compared to the total number of people you know) so identifying and appreciating them shouldn’t be too hard.
Keep your circle small.
Everyone cannot like you. True but everyone cannot hate you either. Remember that.
Not everyone is interested in your problems. Be wise in sharing and not all doors are meant to be left open. Shut the ones that let in strays. Certain people have no business being ranked as important in your life.
Oh, I almost forgot some people will find it difficult to respect you (as a lady) if you aren’t married or at least in a steady relationship once you are of a “marriageable age”. Apparently marriage brings with it honour that single ladies should not expect.
I tried to upload Kenny Rogers’ Gambler song but it was being long.
Big kiss
AWESOOOOME!!!!!
Word!
Good lessons. Know who you are and be comfortable in your skin to do you *Big kiss*
P.S: Does somebody’s ass need kicking?? Cos i know kung fu…seriously. An address is all i need. Flexes hands
Toin you will not kill me..
@ Tizzle, very nice write up and so true
LOL!! Toin you know I love you right? You are very intuitive. Everything is under control. I’ll let you know if I need back up
Darling, sometimes I think it is having the big mummyish look that gives the respect oh. There are days that my lepacious size has made people look me up and down and think I am under 18 jare and not married.
I volunteer my mouth join @Toinlicious Kung fu kicks for anyone that is flexing muscles/levels/mouth abi anything flexible…….yes oh…my mouth is my weapon
You don’t know how happy I am to know at I have correct back up! Thank you o. As per the respect, I don’t know… I think lepas are looked down on a bit. LOL! No offence please.
Beautiful, well articulated, and so on point!!!! On the last point about marriage bringing an honor that single girls should not expect, that is so untrue, at least not to me. If a single girl conducts herself well, she will attract the respect and admiration of married people. As a single girl, I attracted a lot of married women to me in church and outside church ‘cos I respected myself and conducted myself well. A few of them were paranoid about single girls coming around them, but I got lots of invites to visit as often as I wanted. And now, as a married woman, I have single girlfriends that I respect and admire. Marriage does not change the basic character of a person.
Beautiful share as usual Tizzle. By the way, you won yourself a book gift on my blog. Check my birthday post and you will see it. I think you traveled after that. Cheers girl.
*Just want to add, ‘except the married person is just the overtly suspicious and paranoid type.’ That becomes their problem, not yours.
Ivy, believe me, what Ms Tizzle said is true. I don’t know if its a tribe thing, or an African thing. You can have everything you want as a single gal, but once you are not married, some people will withhold a part of that respect from you, especially Yorubas
I doubt if it’s a ‘tribe’ thing. It could be an individual thing. Most people would not hesitate to give you respect that you have earned. However, some have ‘locked in thinking’ processes though, so those ones could be funny. Singles in my former church complained of the segregation from the married women in the church. There was a bitter divide, but as a single girl in the same environment, I never experienced what they were talking about, that is why I am refuting this.
Thank you so much for the book. I am excited! And please expect an honest review. As a single lady were you on the big side? I think size again matters cos Sykik just said something along those lines. Then maybe your personality again… I don’t know. I just find that around me married women are reverred.
You are welcome girl. I sure will. I do not think it has anything to do with size. If I post my pictures from my single days, you would be amazed at how slim I was. I was a complete ‘i’ and through out university I was still extremely thin. My weight is a recent thing which started from my 3rd baby. I was never ever on the big side at all, until now. I do not ever dream of returning to my former size, but at the same time, I have an ideal size I am working towards attaining, lol. Generally, society makes much ado about marriage, but when you come down to individual relationships, people tend to deal with you based on how you present yourself. An African adage says that, ‘if a child washes his hands well, he will eat with elders,’ lol.
A round of applause from you. I agree with everything ma’am. Everyone cannot like you, don’t even bother trying.
#GBAM
Wise words Tizzle. I’m slowly learning about ‘small circle of friends’. I used to be of the persuasion..the more the merrier. But person dey grow past some things jare. And its like pple are there just to feed on your life’s gist. Nowadays, my best friend is me and my God. Then maybe 2 or 3 mates. I find I have more peace like this.
very very true! with all of this, it is also essential to learn to grow a tough layer of skin…. because in this world… there are kill joys every corner you look.