Hello beautiful ones,
I had already started on a post titled, “Where are my commenters?” when a few more comments came trickling in. You guys went cold turkey on me on the last post abi? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting that though. The silence. When the first “sighs” came, I laughed and thought to myself c’est fini. And then Myne’s comment caused a little spark. People wanting to know what she meant by a balance. I don’t know if she’ll reply before this goes up cos I want to know as well. All in all, this was me further testing my writing skills. I’m thinking of becoming a columnist for a mag this year (Do columnists get paid?) I need to start “casting my bread upon many waters”. I’m talking multiple streams of income. This is MY YEAR!! Cc Hitnrunmullings (LOL! In one of her posts she asked what people mean by the statement- “This is my year”or “This is your year”. If anyone has an apt answer for her please head over there).
So, did you enjoy my story? Yes? No? Lara, Nicole, Jemima, Myne and Priscy commended my writing. The most explicit was Lara who said, “you are such a good writer”. I nearly somersaulted when I saw that. That’s what I was looking for. A comment not just on the story but on the writing. I would have appreciated it as well if it was a criticism but I doubt I’d have nearly somersaulted.
Now I’ve got people asking what happened next. Sigh… There was no plan for a second part. No plan at all. There’s still no plan but who knows, this may be the beginning of a series or something. Please feel free to still comment on the story o. I’d appreciate it.
On to my question for today.
Can your boss/supervisor be your friend?
(I’m back to this friendship issue. Maybe as Myne focuses on life and romance, I should just focus on friendship cos it takes up so much space in my heart)
This is the story:
I have 2 colleagues at work who are both on higher levels than I am. One is years older while the other is not but age has nothing to do with levels of hierarchy so that piece of information is slightly insignificant. I don’t do compartmentalising well so I’ve sort of blurred the line between boss and friend. I’ve had deep conversations with both of them and one of them has even slept over at my place a couple of times but I just find it difficult to understand when she switches to supervisor mode and “orders” me to do something or when she has to have things her way and I can’t argue because other colleagues are around and I have to be obedient. I’ve thought to just keep things simple and colleague/supervisor-zone both of them but is that wise? The friendship can work if I learn to compartmentalise right? But I can be sensitive and having a “friend” snap at me just doesn’t sit well with me.
So, to zone or not to zone? Help me.
silly me i was so engrossed in the detail of the story i didnt even commend your writing…see how good you are…i was so wrapped up in the story…
love your writing- yes i said it again
i hope myne comes to explain her balance statement
hmm friends with bosses..thats a tough one..isnt that kinda like dating your boss?
me i said zone to avoid unnecessary drama
oh and as per your question on my blog- check out this post on the first prayer challenge i was referring too- http://alotedbabe.blogspot.de/2012/07/prayer-challenge-ipray4u.html#.UPf1DSeN5ic
I checked it and it sounds so good. The thought of not praying for myself at all scares me though. Let me know when it starts and il let you know if I’m up for it then.
Thanks for commending my writing.
Mmmwah!!
I know! It is scary yet liberating. The next one will be a bit different. Shld start in feb by God’s grace. Ta!
Ok cool
i have learnt the hard way to put friendship and work apart. I learnt to compartmentalise ..howver it is spelt. Because i am sure that is what your friends are doing. my friendship does not leave the office again.. it isnt that serious. then again.. i am in jand, you are in naija.. it is probably different for me. If i had naijas in my office.. i would probably be budding with them.
Yeah ore mi, Naij is different. There’s a lot of… How do I put it? Like “family” kind of thing if u know what I mean… Remember when I said smoothing about my former boss asking for my pin immediately I joined? Naij is definitely different.
aww……..didnt read your story post. *now going to read
i dont know the answer to your question o, i guess you can zone……but then you’ll be loosing a friend so i really dont know
I knooowww
I agree with Angelsbeauty.
Hmmm…
I think it would be much easier to zone. It prevents drama which would come up if things remain blurred.
Ok. Noted…
Gosh. I actually thought you were narrating someone’s true life story.
Yes, I think it would be nice to have your boss as your friend. It is not uncommon in my former work place. You should be the one to learn to compartmentalise.
I think so too. I should be the one to learn to compartmentalise
Of course you can earn money as a columnist, though the pay is not that fantastic. I guess it depends on the publication you’d be writing for. However, having a column gives you a platform for you to showcase your writing skills/hone them as well and the first consideration may not necessarily be the money, although it’s important, lol. As you build presence and become known, the money will roll in eventually.
Yes, It would be nice to hear Myne explain herself on her balance comment-I’m eagerly waiting to read her, hehehehehehehe.
I think that one can find friendships in the most unexpected quarters, and if it happens for you in the workplace, I do not see anything wrong with it, just that you must work out a way t such that you do not bring personal matters into the office space. When it’s time to work, keep it at that, and after work, let your hair down. Just my thoughts.
Thank you… And thank you for answering my columnist question
ZONE. Seriously pays you to keep both work and friendship separate. For me I don’t have issues with being friends with my boss. My immediate boss at my former job is still my very good friend. I guess maybe because we were the only females in the department. But I know for a lot of people, it causes issues. From your post, you would have issues so please keep them separate. Maybe make friends with others in other units. There might be a thing or two to learn from them but within your unit? Stay away from being friends.
Lol! No mincing words at all. LOL @ ZONE. Thank you
It can be difficult at times, but it’s nice to be friends with your boss because I have had my boss give me referrals for other job openings which I never knew about. ….selfish me ni yen oh.
However, if it is difficult to fall into “boss-colleague mode” during work hours then it will be better to hang up the friendship boot because oga will always be oga oh and I won’t want you getting a memo for insurbodination.
As in!! Thank you!! Me too I don’t want a memo. It is well sha. I just need to keep asking for wisdom.
It’s okay to have your boss as a friend…just know where to draw the line especially if your ‘friend-boss’ has a boss that you both ain’t cordial with. You get?
Emmmm… I don’t really get o. I get the first part sha
mstixxle..LOOOL..yea!!!..i did that in purpose
u wont believe u and i are going thru d same thing now and i was just thinking of myself when u wrote this and i know i just have to put get myself together and know she and He are my ‘bosses’ or supervisors rather and i’ll try to reduce the rate aat which im becoming close to the “she-boss” cos when she uses the command tone with me, she looks like a diff person compared to when we gist, laff and call each other..
and so, ive decided to be cautious. and do what i’m meant to do while i’m there for now
i dont know if ive helped with this rant of mine but i sha know its me from my own point of view of what i’m gonna be doing
Yes you have so helped with this rant of yours! I’m happy you can relate with me. Cautious is the word
Hi Sweets, late as usual. this post has been open on my browser all weekend
You did a great writing job on Tangled. I even enjoyed the small decoy with the guy she bumped into. I thought that would be THE romance lol. On the other hand, from the title and knowing your stance the end wasnt unpredictable. So next chapter surprise me pls. lol
On the boss/friendship thing. Abeg keep it separate especially if you are within same peer group. If you are like me that gets lines blurred it becomes very impt. if this ‘romance’ sours guess who suffers? you. Imagine getting more praise then her over a shared project, or both of you begin to eye the same brotha..na so jealousy go begin. don’t be abrupt about it but do try to draw a line. If its a big oga, decades older then it can easily be a mentor/mentee thing.
Hmmm… I get you o. Thank you and thanks for the compliment on Tangled. You’ve joined them to put me under pressure. Lol
Definitely zone. Truth is, from their point of view, they wont want to be seen as being partial to you because of your relationship.
Ask yourself this, would I react same to a superior who isn’t my boss? if yes, then I guess the friendship can continue as is, but if no, you really need to find a way to balance things. Let work be work and let friendship be friendship